Boots and Blessings

I watched Come Sunday with my family this weekend, the story of Bishop Carlton Pearson's epiphany of universal salvation, and the price he paid for being public about it. If you are a UU primarily interested in the story of Pearson's diminished community coming to All Souls Tulsa, that is another story, not covered by the movie. But the story, as it is, is very good, and focuses on the nature of God and grace. There was one aspect of the movie that has stayed with me, probably because I've been wrestling with what this means for humanity for ... oh, about 25 years. And it's not about God, it's about people. And whether there is a dividing line between people that so impacts how we view the world, that it cannot be overcome. In about the middle of the movie, Pearson confronts other Pentecostal leaders at what amounts to a heresy trial. He asks Bishop Ellis to name someone he loved, who is now in Hell. The other man says, "My daddy." He says that he lov...

I was watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer* one day, like you do, and I thought, "Wow. I wish I had a Watcher." According to the Buffy Wiki , a Watcher is: a member of the Watchers Council, devoted to tracking and combating malevolent supernatural entities (and particularly vampires), primarily by locating individuals with the talents required to fight such beings and win. More specifically, Watchers were assigned to train and guide Slayers, girls that were part of a succession of mystically powered young women who were destined to face the forces of darkness. And then, quick as a vampire turns to dust when stabbed with a wooden stake, I realized, "Ohmygosh, I TOTALLY have a Watcher." My Watcher is named Ken, and he's an expert in Bowen Systems Theory, and he coaches me, teaching me about the vampires I encounter, and drilling me in how to slay them. No, the Vampires aren't people around me!  Far from it. The Vampires are my own responses to anxiety...

Disappointment is normal. How we deal with it is part of personal growth. First: Disappointment is normal . How often do we feel upset because there is part of us, inside, that really believes disappointment is abnormal? That our expectations should always be met, and when they are not, it is a sign that something clearly is not right with the world? But the world is not our personal possession. Other people get to make decisions that may impact us. What's the matter with your life? Is the poverty bringing you down? Is the mailman jerking you 'round? Did he put your million dollar check In someone else's box? -- Pop Life, Prince There are many ways to deal with disappointment, and each situation will warrant a different response, based on your personal guiding principles. There are times when complaining directly to the source of the disappointment--to a manager, to a friend, to a congressperson--is the right thing to do. There are times when acceptance is...

Back when you were a kid, you learned a lesson. It was wrong. And it's time for you to unlearn it. You learned that you were responsible for other people's feelings. Not that you should care about other people's feelings. (You should.) Not just that you should be sensitive to other people's feelings. (You should.) But you were taught that you were actually responsible for other people's feelings. It happens in almost all homes, even the loving ones. In abusive homes, it's more blatant. If Dad is unhappy, you get hit. So you learn that it is actually your responsibility to keep him happy, or there would be consequences. But even in non-abusive homes, it happened. If Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.  You are not responsible for other people's feelings. That's their job. And in fact, you are crossing their boundary if you try to control their feelings. They get to decide how they feel about something, not you. They may decide that you...

The Monday after SXSW, or "South By" as Austin folk call it, is usually accompanied by the calm feeling of returning to routine. Our kids are done with spring break and are back in school, all the out-of-towners have returned from whence they came, and we're back at our desks, cash registers, or if you're a minister whose day off is Monday, out enjoying a rare temperate day before the crushing heat of summer. The wildflowers are being led in their season by the bluebonnets, transforming parks and highway sides into bunches of blue. Most of us were, this year, back to that routine, but the calmness was not. I walked to my favorite bench by the creek, uncharacteristically keeping my eyes a step ahead of my feet. Not for the snakes we begin to see at this time, but, of all things, for trip wires. "Would you even know what a trip wire was, if you saw it?" I asked myself, mocking. It felt ridiculous, but there it was, a warning we were hearing from radio,...

There are things we just know to be true. Like that you need to sear a steak before cooking it, to seal in the juices. We all know that throughout time, there has been and continues today to be a war between religion and science. We all know this to be true.  You know something else we all know to be true? “The tongue map.”  Remember that? Back in elementary school, you were shown a picture of a tongue and you were taught that different parts of the tongue corresponded to the four different tastes. The front tasted sweet. The back tasted bitter. The sides were sour and salt. My parents were taught this. I was taught this. And still today, my kids have been taught this. This is one of those things we all know to be true. Except it's not. It’s not! It’s been thoroughly debunked. And not recently. Since 1974. When Virginia Collings confirmed that all parts of the tongue can register all tastes. Sometimes, things we know to be true, aren’t. We have a hypothesis...