Skip to main content

Please Really Think About It Before Getting Together This Mothers' Day

Okay, friends. No poetry or pretty words today.

Most likely, if you're reading this, you're someone I love. And if you're someone I don't yet know, I bet I'd love you if I met you. Most people are, I find, extremely lovable.

And I'm worried about you.

Sunday is Mothers' Day. And many of us love getting together on Mothers' Day. I know I sure do. My mom is 89 years old, have I told you that? Sharp, independent, and very funny. She moved about 10 minutes away from me four years ago, and we've gotten together every Mothers' Day either for a crawfish boil or brisket from Franklin's.

But this year: nope. I've got something special planned for her, but it doesn't involve either of us being in each other's house, and we certainly aren't going out to a restaurant. And she doesn't just support this, she's the one driving this bus, so to speak. She grew up hearing her grandmother talk about the Spanish flu epidemic when she (mom's grandmother) was so sick, she didn't know that her own mother had died of it.

I'm not saying our choices should be yours. Truth is, this is probably going to be our reality for a while, and every family is going to have to really think hard, and make some difficult choices. Time with each other is important, especially with loved ones for whom the days are dwindling down to a precious few.

And there are so many factors that are a part of this, like if both parties are already at virtually 0% contact with the outside world. There's no one simple answer that will work for everyone.

But that doesn't mean we should just throw up our hands and say, "in for a penny, in for a pound." A pound of SARS-CoV2 viral particles, yikes! If I have to be exposed, just a penny, please.

So, I encourage you to take the time and read this:

The Risks - Know Them - Avoid Them


It's written in a way that non-scientists like me can understand, but with the vital contentions sourced.

In thinking about Mothers' Day, here's what jumped out at me: she outlined the "super-spreading" events, and one of the three is "weddings, funerals, birthdays." And after that, she explains with a diagram how spreading happens in restaurants.

Make your choices informed by facts, considered soberly, and limiting the risk factors. Smaller groups are better than larger. Outside is better than inside. Shorter visits are better than long. 6 ft apart. Masks. Wash hands.

Love well.





Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Me and My Collar

You may run into me on a Friday, in my neighborhood, so it's time I let you know what you might see. When I was doing my required unit of Clinical Pastoral Education (CPE), my supervisor suggested that any of us who came from traditions where a clerical collar was an option, take one "collar week," to see how we were treated, as opposed to wearing regular professional clothes. After a couple of days, I joked to the Catholic priest, "How do you manage the power?" In regular clothes, I would walk into a patient's room, and it would take about 5 or so minutes of introductions and pleasantries before we could really get down to talking about their feelings, their fears, the deep stuff. With most people, as soon as that clerical collar walked in the room, with me attached, they began pouring out all the heavy stuff they were carrying. I was riding the bus back and forth every day, and though not quite so dramatic, the collar effect was alive there, to...

Could You Send Her for the Ammunition?

Let me preface by saying I know that not all people are comfortable with military/war metaphors, so feel free to either find a metaphor that works for you, or skip this altogether. My dad, however, was a Korean war veteran who went to military college (that's what Texas A&M was in those days), originally stationed in artillery before being changed at the last minute to be a teacher in the corps of engineers. So some battle metaphors worked for him in explaining the world around him. His highest compliment about a person's character was an affirmative answer to "but could you send them for the ammunition?" The metaphor is this: you are in battle, and it's not looking good. You've got a partner with you, and y'all are running out of ammunition. If you send this person back to get more ammunition, will they return? Or will they promise to return, but then run the opposite direction, sacrificing you in the process? He and I would talk about this,...

We've Reached the "Tom Hanks Eating Raw Fish" Phase of the Pandemic

Last May, as it became apparent the covid-19 pandemic was not going to be a temporary affair, I wrote about the benefits of imagining you were shipwrecked on a deserted island.  Now, a year after we began hearing about the "novel coronovirus," I suspect that many of us have now entered the "Tom Hanks Eating Raw Fish" stage of the pandemic.  We've made the best of things. Rearranged home offices and homeschool desks. Got through the holidays, mustering as much joy as we could. There's a permanent hook or basket at the front door for our masks.  Most of us by now either know someone who died of covid, or are, at most, 2 degrees away. Our co-worker's husband's mother. Our friend's aunt. Or closer. We've grieved.  And now...we're just numb. We keep putting one foot in front of the other, because that's what we have to do. We eat, we drink, we sleep. We get our work done. We nag our kids to do school work.  But our affect is flat. Like Ha...